Parents are perhaps the most inscrutable aspect of teaching. We can figure out differentiated teaching and assessment, we can interpret the latest initiative or ministry document, but parents; they are the last frontier. Alternately, intimidating and demanding; understanding and grateful, they represent the unknown and sometimes, the unknowable. Yet, if our school environment is invitational, parents are capable of being our best advocates and partners.

The questions remain: How do we invite parents to join us in our best efforts to teach and to create the optimum learning environment for their child; indeed, for every child? How do we form and sustain a partnership capable of withstanding the ever-changing climate of education?

A community of learners has its roots in the enriching collaboration between dedicated and dynamic educators, committed parents and inquiring students. Each member of the school community is in need of advocacy. Schools need teacher advocates who are aware of the challenges and rewards of teaching, student advocates responsive to student’s needs and parent advocates understanding of parents’ desire for involvement within the school. Missing at times is the voice of the parent advocates who understand parents’ need for close communication with the school, who respect parents’ rights to advocate for their child and who appreciate parents’ interest in being involved in the school and in their children’s learning.

Education has, traditionally, belonged to the educators who were believed to know best and to whom parents entrusted the responsibility of the accumulation of knowledge, as well as the development of character. Educators were held in high esteem for their knowledge and for their control over their students. Times are different now, and have been for some time, and as Bertrand Russell observed in his 1926 book, On Education, “Neither acquiescence in skepticism nor acquiescence in dogma is what education should produce.”

Modern education should not expect or wish for acquiescence from parents who are certainly entitled to question, to challenge, and, if necessary, to demand answers. There is a way to put a positive spin on questioning and parents should be prepared to actively listen to educators who, for the most part, spend countless hours actively reflecting on their practice and seeking improvement. Teaching is a long apprenticeship and parents must understand that educators are only too aware of the journey towards becoming a master teacher and the fact that, along the way, their words and actions must be as well thought out as possible. And yet, the school year rushes onwards as a train towards its final stop, and there is always the sense of not enough time.

Much research and many books will lead us to methods for creating and sustaining an invitational school environment for children, but where is the guidebook on how to be invitational towards parents? William Watson Purkey and John M. Novak’s book, Inviting School Success, is full of excellent strategies and describes the how-tos of inviting students to learn, but there is minimal mention of parents. The school community is not limited to the relationship between teachers and students. Such a perspective omits parental involvement except for a nod at parent-interview time and the obligatory newsletter. It is up to educators to discover the means to know the parents who, along with acting as our best advocates, may also choose to exert their considerable influence with their children, fellow parents, administrators and the school’s board of governors.

It is in the best interests of every member of the school community to direct our collective energy and attention towards inviting parents into our schools, our classrooms, and our decision-making. One direct way for parents to seek information is to ask questions of school staff. But to whom do parents direct their questions? The avenue of information is not always clear and may be perceived as intimidating to parents unfamiliar with a school’s unique culture of process and protocol.

Do they ask their child’s teacher, the school principal or other parents? Is it best to telephone, e-mail or go in person? Sometimes questions are not well-received by school staff, which can be confusing to parents. Why would a parent not be asking questions? It could be a result of the manner of the asking; yet, if teachers are proactive and invitational, a parent’s need or desire to challenge will fade away.

Parents operate on a “need to know” basis that is often time-sensitive. They need direct answers to questions that may seem challenging, confrontational, obvious or even trivial to school staff. A school community should have a proactive approach and ask teachers to post times when they are available for meetings, phone calls and e-mails. It is essential to know how to reach your child’s teacher and when one should expect to hear back. School policy should reflect this need and provide parents with communication protocol and directives at the outset of the school year.

Parents’ right to advocate for their child and to question the school and individuals who educate their children is, indeed, a right. Sometimes parents are apologetic when advocating for their children. There is no need. If parents do not advocate for their children, who will? Schools should welcome parents because they ask us to reflect on our words and actions, to account for pedagogy and practice, and to ask ourselves if we are certain we are doing the right thing for their child. Those are not bad questions to be asking.

Parents need close communication with the school because children are often not yet able to articulate what goes on each day in school. How many after-school conversations begin with a parent asking, “How was your day?” to which a child generally answers “Good” or “Okay” or the anxiety-provoking “Not good.” When parents probe a little further by asking “What did you do in school today?” replies may vary from “nothing,” or, if a parent is lucky, “I read” or “played soccer with my friends.” This is hardly enough information to sustain a parent’s need to know, but it is about all parents get on many days. It is no wonder that newsletters are gratefully read over and over. Why do parents linger when dropping their children off in the morning? Parents are looking for information, for reassurance and for answers to the questions they ask their children each evening.

What form should the communication then take? Newsletters, open-house evenings, guest speakers, parent workshops, personal notes to parents, parent-teacher conferences, a school newspaper with a parent information column, e-mails to update and inform, and homework with a clear purpose and detailed instructions. Materials such as educational magazines, books of all kinds, CDs and videos that demonstrate strategies for supporting children in their learning should be made readily available to parents. Perhaps an online catalogue as well as posters around the school and announcements in newsletters to advertise materials that parents may pick up at the school library.

Report cards are a traditional form of communication; yet many parents remain dissatisfied with the format of reports cards, in spite of efforts by educators over the years to improve the content and delivery. Do parents have a voice in what their ideal report card would look like? It would be interesting to survey parents on this topic, especially in light of the fact that they are the intended audience. Parents often do not make suggestions or recommendations to schools, and surveys would help to answer some of the ongoing questions and offer a venue for parental input.

Children need all the support and advocacy available to them and it follows that parents should be welcomed into our schools. Parents want to support and, as Patricia M. Cunningham and Richard L. Allington observe in their book, Classrooms that Work, “All parents want the best for their children and, when they do feel welcome and included, can become a powerful source of support for teachers.”

There are many ways for parents to be involved in their children’s education. Teachers know the parents who bake cookies, who offer to drive, the parents who go on the field trips, who offer to make costumes for the school play, the parents who are cheering from the sidelines at the game, and the parents who are front and centre asking the difficult questions. Less visible, and equally important, are the parents who offer consistent support of homework completion, study strategies and reading programs. This is the quiet support behind-the-scenes that often goes unnoticed.

It is the collaboration between home and school that allows us to support our students in the best possible way. This is teamwork that requires diplomacy, mutual respect and a positive outlook. Both educators and parents serve as role models for students who feel reassured when home and school are working together in order to support them. Invite parents to send notes or e-mails to share information that will help in supporting their child. If there is a reason why their child may be feeling out of sorts because something has changed in the home routine, letting a teacher know will make a student feel safe and secure and will enable the teacher to provide timely and appropriate support.
A teacher is one more adult who can be trusted and who will act as an advocate. Self-esteem is enhanced when individuals know that they are recognized, understood and appreciated. This is true of students, parents and teachers and when we conduct ourselves with this in mind, we break down the barriers between us and move forward towards a productive partnership.

It behooves us as educators to open our doors, and open our hearts and minds to the parents who entrust us each day with the most precious thing in their lives—their children. Schools owe parents answers, respect and appreciation.

Our goal should be to become a cohesive community with shared values and goals and regular communication in support of our children. To echo Bertrand Russell’s question in On Education, “The way is clear. Do we love our children enough to take it?”